“I always remember that day. The day when I did wrong way. Out of my conscious.. and finally I’m here… in this damn jail.. far away from my old house, Seoul. How stupid I’m in that time. Now I face the blue.. and I promise to not do the same thing like I did two years ago. It started when my parents die …… here is the story that I want to share.”

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“are you ready to go to school, Sara?” asked my friend, named Ann.
“surely, let’s go” I said.

My name is Sara Hudgson. People usually call me Sara. I have a best friend, named Ann. She always beside me since 4 years ago. Hmmmm 4 years ago… was in 2007, a damn year. how can I forget that year? how can I forget the year when my mother passed away? 2007, a damn year, I decided to pick my stuffs to Orphage in Busan, far away from my relatives. Here, I found Ann, an active girl. Since then, I have become her friend. She always picked me up to go to school together.

One day.
‘Sara, I do happy now!!! Hihihi I just a million stars have attacked my smooth heart since yesterday afternoon! Oh My.’
‘ oh really? How come? It’s too irrational hahaha’
‘not too irrational with people who are falling in love, dear’
‘ah you! Please tell me about your crush! Don’t let me hit you now!’
‘I saw a boy. I don’t think he’s handsome at all. But his smile made me teackled pink’ Ann said.
‘for his name, I don’t know exactly, but when I saw at his nametag and it wrote nggg I guess Marcell’ Ann continued.
‘I can’t believe that! Are you sure?’ I shocked when she said Marcell is the Ann’s crush.
‘ I think he is in our grade. But I don’t know what’s his class … do you know it? And why you look so surprised?’
‘ oh hmmmm well, I don’t know either. Shocked? Absolutely! Ah I mean …..’ I just stuck to say another words.
‘oh, hmmm I mean. I ever see him. And you’re right. He is quite popular among the teachers.’ I tried my best to hide my feeling, so that she couldn’t know about my real feeling.

Ugh why this situation came immediately, God!

‘Sara? Sara! Ah do you pile up again hah?’
‘oh yeah. I’m sorry hehehe’

Finally we arrived at school. We studied as usual. Hmmm I was not an active girl, but I think I’m not too bad in the class. Because I’m too shy to answered teacher’s question, I always requested Ann to answer that. And absolutely, there were all from me. My answers!

This situation always happened. Absolutely I did hate that thing, but what a poor I am … I couldn’t make myself free. I didn’t have any courage to answer it by myself. And that was one more trouble came from my brave less. Not only couldn’t answered my teacher’s, but also confessed my feeling to Marcell. It was uneasy personalities.

In 2009, it was the year that made me seeing red! Felt so uncomfortable when I met Ann. I didn’t know why I had to face that fate. Immediately, Ann got the first rank in our school. And unfortunately I became the second. Whereas I had to always be the first to make my ‘mother’ (not a real mother) proud of me. After I looked into my scores, I got a bolt from the blue. Suddenly I saw Marcell hug Ann tightly and congratulated her. Curiously I searched the Ann’s fact, what happened to Ann and Marcell.

I asked Antoni, who walked beside me, he said that they were both in the date since yesterday night. ‘oh, so that’s the reason why she couldn’t meet me to teach me? Hah’ it so disturbed my mental. After knew all the things, I back to the orphage. My only hope was my mother didn’t get angry to me.

But that things happened! How an awful day! Arrrgh I felt like a wolf. I really wanted to kill Ann! My ‘mother’ really disappointed with me.

‘how about your score? Is it good? Are you still become the first?’
‘not really, my scores are less than last term. I really worry can’t enter Ajou University’ I sighed.
‘ huh, so who is in the first rank?’
‘ ngggg …………. A-Ann. Yeah she got the first rank’ I got more frustrated.
‘why don’t you push yourself to be like her? One weakness that you have to change! To be a brave girl! Try to be close to your teacher like Ann did. You always became the first rank! Don’t let your score less than Ann’s!’

Impatiently, I left my ‘mother’ and went to my room. I do dislike people who didn’t know anything about me and try to give me too much advises! After I changed my uniform to tight cloths, I went to bar and got my night there. I drank alcohol quite excessively. I really got drunk.

Unconsciously, I went to Ann’s house. At that time she was alone in her big house. Her house door didn’t lock yet, so I could enter her house freely. Still with all my unconsciously I went to her kitchen and picked a sharp knife. Then, I went to the second floor, a place where Ann already have slept.

When I arrived to her room, she woke up, she extremely shouted ‘WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM WITH THE KIND OF KNIFE?! DO YOU WANT TO KILL ME? PLEASE I BEG YOU TO CONSCIOUS YOURSELF, SARA! I’M ANN! YOUR BEST FRIEND!!!’

‘huk (cough) ya! I really want to kill you! Huk. Hey you. Huk. I want to kill you. Huk. I want to be wolf tonight. Huk. I want to eat your body. Huk. Hehehehe. Huk. You. Huk. hah what’s wrong with you hah? Huk. do you think that you can date Marcell? Huk. hah? Huk. I ya my name is Sara! I’m Sara and Sara doo dislike Ann who date my believe crush! Huk. how a green to envy I turn on! Huk. and one thing that.. huk. so important to know by you. huk I’m Sara, I’m a smart girl! Huk. and you’re the dumb girl! Huk. But I think you’re the fortunate girl, right? Huk. As the first rank huk. You’re the bastard! huk. Huh. Huk. I hate you so much Ann! Huk. Huk.’

‘what do you mean? I really don’t understand! Oh okay okay I will not asked you why. Whatever they are please forgive me. I will not do the same again. Please put the knife down! Am I still your best friend?’ Ann begged.

‘hah. Huk. Really? Hmmmm you’re a bad girl. Huk. How come I believe on you? Hah? Huk. Your apologize is soooo useless to me. Huk. Just become your bullshit. Huk. Hehehe’

And finally, with all my unconscious, I killed her. And I’m Sara. Sara who were poor girl, out of the blue, her neighborhood called police after heard Ann’s scream and not long after that, three polices caught red handed while I took the knife out from her lung.

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At the end, here I’m now. Ended up in the jail. 2 years later, police will set me free from this damn ‘palace’. Now I’m really regret what I’ve done to my best friend. now, I’m realize that turn green to envy just bring us many miseries.

Yesterday, police brought me to psychologist, and one of them told me that I had to keep alcohol away. In this damn ‘palace’ I finally try to close to my God. And now, I realize that no body’s perfect without God’s directions.

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Waaah itu tadi cerpen yang berhasil gue bikin tuh, itu sebenernya tugas LIA dan itu tugas kelompok, tapi gue yang buat jalan ceritanya (karena kertas dikasih ke gue) tapi judulnya buatan kak angga tuh. Gimana tanggapan kalian? Kalo kata guru gue sih jangan pake kata kasar. Hahaha tapi gue kalo nulis emang kebawa emosi sih. Biar readers gue tau gimana geregetnya orang mau bunuh sahabatnya. Ah, gue harap kalian nggak negative thinking to me yaaa. Karena itu cuma emosi seorang author. Yang mau jadi author pasti tau deh hahaha ;D ^^v see you in my next entries!!!!